The World Brand New

I've heard it said that babies are God's way of allowing us to experience the beauty of the world all over again, as if for the very first time. Jace isn't old enough to have seen big things yet like his first butterfly, an airplane, or those dreaded golden arches, but there have certainly been many firsts. There was his first smile on day 2; the day he wore his first "real" outfit in the NICU (the yellow onesie that was just perfect for his day in the isolette); his first bath; the list goes on. However what I'm getting to see now is that there are some firsts that you catch in glimpses...ones where you find yourself doing a double-take and asking "Wait, did I just see that?" or "Wait a minute!! Has he ever done that before!?" These are things like when I first heard him cough. I responded "Heyyyyy!!!! You just coughed!" (as if he knew it was his first cough. Heck, as if he knew what a cough was)! Or when he opened his hand on his own and grabbed my finger. I looked around as if to ask the person next to me, "did you see that?!" except, no one was there. It was only me, having a "very first" moment, all on my own. Or yesterday when I caught him scratching his arm. I mean, all of a sudden it made sense why I could never feel accurate in letting his doctor know if his rash itches or not...he didn't know how to scratch!! So how would I know?! I saw those little fingers just-a-moving, and I wondered if he was as amazed as I was that he had learned to do something new for himself. But he was looking all around as if he couldn't care less. He had the nerve to be totally coordinated as if he'd been scratching for years! So I let him have his "oh please, mom, I've been doing this all along" moment, while I had my "that's one less thing he needs me for" moment. Then I noticed, which startled me, all the scratch marks on his little ankle where the bulk of the rash sits. So guess what? YES, doc, it itches!!!

Today's treat was that, as I sat on the bed thoroughly engaged in a phone call, I felt something on my leg. I looked down and what I saw stopped me mid-sentence. Or should I say, what I felt? There were four little fingers with nails dug into my skin, scratching. I looked at him, and had not realized he was looking in my eyes all along when I was not paying him any attention, and there he sat with the biggest smile on his face. It was as if he was saying, "Yeah, you didn't know I could do this, did ya?" I looked at him as if to say, "Umm, well, no," and simply said, "thank you, Love Bug, for scratching mommy's leg."

What I realize today is that with each exciting revelation for him, that will be one less thing he will need me for. My, that's bitter-sweet. That means one day I will set out to meet a need of his, and I will hear in reply, "That's alright, I have it mom." Guess I better brace myself. But, then again, I suppose I have many many years before I have to feel sad about that one ;-)