This morning I prepared to enter into some thinking time on my commute to work, when I felt the inkling to turn on the radio. It was on Gospel station 92.1 and Yolanda Adams had just begun her daily meditation. She said November would be a month of learning how to pray and today was the first installment in that series. Among the many things she said was, “God does not want us to practice failure. He wants us to practice success.” She went on to elaborate saying that God does not release certain things to us because of our lack of readiness. I thought about my feelings on this. I used to hate when people said God withheld things because we weren’t ready. I think that was because it felt like more of a personal critique than something I could bring myself to swallow.
Interestingly though, now that I have a child I was able to take a new perspective. I could instantly recall my visit to Babies R’ Us on yesterday, where I slowly walked down every toy aisle, in search of toys that indicated they were for children starting at 6 months. I had previously bought Jace a couple of toys, and very excitedly so, on which I paid absolutely no attention to the clearly labeled age minimum. I got the toys home and noted within seconds of giving them to him that they were put straight into his mouth. Now, this is not what these particular toys were for. I mean, I had brought home a fancy laptop/story book combination, and a story book that if you press the buttons it would read the pages aloud for you. These things were certainly not for eating! So I found myself spending quite a bit of time taking them from him, and then trying to manually position his hands to hold them properly and then explain (in a language he doesn’t yet understand, mind you) how the toys are to be used and how invaluable they are as learning and advancement tools. I jokingly said to him, “Well I guess you’re not as advanced as I thought you were.” But I seriously said to myself, there is a reason they put the age minimums on the toys, smarty! LOL!
When Yolanda made her statement this morning, I laughed aloud as I recalled the example of the toys. While I saw many things on yesterday that I would love for Jace to have, I had learned from my previous experience that he just wasn’t ready. More importantly, it was not because I do not love him; or because I don’t think he is quite brilliant for his age; or because I am the mean old mom. It was because mentally and physically he just has not developed to a place of readiness for the things I wanted to give him. His mind cannot comprehend how they are to be used. He does not even have language available to him yet that would allow him to ask me any questions he might have. His muscles are not yet strong enough to hold them properly. His coordination (the little he has) is so new that it has not evolved enough to serve him in areas that require more than what he knows to this point. His current behavioral habit is to place things in his mouth. He needs things that foster that; to soothe his ailing gums and that allow him to learn and feel various textures. The problem was not him; it was me. I was trying to meet a need that he does not yet have. And so I believe this is how it is with God.
There are many things He wants to give us, but in His loving wisdom, He only gives us what we are mentally, physically and spiritually able to handle at the time. Isn’t that what a caring parent does…one who pays attention and desires that their child develops naturally, thoroughly and in order? That’s just who God is. And like Yolanda says, he sets us up to practice success and not failure. To have given Jace those toys and expected him to get the full benefit of them would have been unwise on my part. Where are those toys now? Well, because Jace kept the book in his mouth, the pages started to tear (even though they were thick cardboard). So they’ve been tucked away in a box since that very day, waiting for him to grow into them. This makes me wonder what God has tucked away in the toy box for me. What does He have waiting for me that He is waiting for me to grow into? I'll bet there are some good things in that box!! It also helped me to see that there are things He will withhold from me until I am ready for them. Now I know that is not punitive. In fact, it is nothing less than loving.
With that new perspective, I can look around my life as it stands, for the “toys” that are lying around. I can set my mind to the things I have and am able to master right now, and not the things I do not have or desire to master in the future. I have to accept that my spiritual muscles are still developing; my mind is still expanding to incorporate language and understanding that I do not yet have; and that my body is strengthening to be able to accommodate my future calling. And when it is time, as I am able, things will come my way…but not a moment sooner.
The most significant “toy” (albeit very real) I have in front of me right now is my son. That is something I was obviously ready for that was released into my possession. It is also something I have to grow into, although I don’t foresee mastery in the plan ;-) … He is the most major part of my current life. And as sure as he is, there are other things around for me to use in my growing efforts that I likely take for granted; and it is my responsibility to find them, use them and master them, or I will not be advancing to the next stage any time soon.
In the meantime, I wonder what's in my toy box ... okay, okay I will stay focused on right now ;-)
